Horse Toytown was the surprise winner of this year’s BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
The 14 year-old European and World equestrian champion beat both Ryder Cup golfer and bookie's favourite Darren Clarke and world champion gymnast Beth Tweddle.
Reaction to the result was mixed with Toytown's rider, 11th in line to the British throne Zara Phillips, saying 'One is delighted by the news and Granny and Mummy will also be thrilled.'
In contrast, second placed Darren Clarke firmly announced ‘When I said I didn’t want to win on a sympathy vote – I didn’t mean that I didn’t want to win at all for crying out loud!’
To the great surprise of nobody swimming was almost completely overlooked at the awards, despite some great successes at the Commonwealth Games. However, Little Britain comedian David Walliams did receive a special award for his successful channel swim that raised over £1 million for the charity Sport Relief.
'Gawd bless Zara Phillips!' said one public voter, whilst repeatedly bowing and vigorously tugging at his forelock.

Leading masters swimmer Nuala Muir-Cochrane has become president of the Middlesex Amateur Swimming Association, taking control from Copthall’s Ian ‘Wellard’ Woollard.
The Camden Swiss Cottage competitor will be a popular choice amongst masters swimmers who are familiar with her many British and European record-breaking performances.
Immediately after her inauguration ceremony Muir-Cochrane addressed the crowd of well-wishers that had assembled. ‘Where there is discord, may we bring harmony. Where there is error, may we bring truth. Where there is doubt, may we bring faith. And where there is an annual dinner, may we make sure Joe Twyman is not invited to speak.’ she said.

At the age of 24, Australian swimmer Ian 'Thorpedo' Thorpe has surprised many by announcing his retirement from ongoing explanations of why he is not swimming.
A long series of injury setbacks meant Thorpe had not been able to attend a major competition since the Athens Olympics in 2004, making his previously announced plans to retire after the 2008 Olympics in Beijing look increasingly optimisitc.
The five-time Olympic and eleven-time world champion, who first competed at senior international level at 14, said 'It's a decision that has been difficult. I realise that there's things in my life that are more important for me. I'm off to design some more jewellery.'
American Michael Phelps lead tributes to his Aussie rival, describing him as 'a great ambassador to our sport' while Australian Prime Minister John Howard said the freestyler's retirement was 'an enormous loss to Australian swimming'. However, Jason Donovan, appearing in ITV1's I Used to Think I was a Celebrity..., has yet to comment.
Both Barnet Copthall and Otter are amongst a number of masters clubs to publicly confirm that Thorpe would be welcome to join their teams if he opted to take part in masters competitions at any stage in the future.

Carlos 'Al' Fresco has narrowly failed in his brave attempt to swim the English Channel.
Despite swimming for over 14 hours, the Barnet Copthall Master was sadly unable to reach the French coastline. Eventually he was pulled out of the water by his support team, including Copthall coach Paul 'Long' Bowe, only approximately three miles from the shore.
During the journey he battled against increasingly difficult sea conditions, extreme cold and muscle cramp, but eventually had to admit defeat when hypothermia began to set in.
Ian 'Wellard' Woollard led tributes to the swimmer's endeavour. Addressing an obviously disappointed Fresco he said 'Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability. '

The Royal Mail has stated that it is 'determined' to win this year's ASA Postal Swim.
The organisation faces stiff competition for the title from arch-rivals DHL, UPS and Federal Express, all of whom will be fighting hard for victory in the 30 minute endurance event that takes place between 1st November and 31st January.
Although the Royal Mail itself does not have a strong heritage in sporting competitions, Lance Armstrong famously won the Tour de France when riding for the US Postal Service.
Chief Executive Adam Crozier said that success in the race would ensure nobody viewed the Royal Mail as an organisation that spends its time 'reading your postcards and stealing your birthday presents'.

Despite a rapidly changing security situation and unattractive weather back in Britain, the Barnet Copthall Masters squad from the XI FINA Masters World Championships has safely returned home to London and even resumed training.
In all the seven-strong team achieved nine top ten finishes, one gold, one silver and two British records between them. In addition new associate member Tara Hutt, unofficially and temporarily borrowed from Havant and Waterlooville, added a further four silvers.
Few would dispute that First Lady of Masters, Jane Asher, was the British star of the competition, finishing her five events with five gold medals and four new world records.
Elsewhere the important annual task of crashing the German team party, previously undertaken by Barnet Copthall, was this year happily left to Fifi Le Marché and her Otter Multinational Taskforce (OMT).
Click here to read the official UptheBeavers competition report and look at the terribly exciting pictures

The Barnet Copthall Masters squad for the XI FINA Masters World Championships has begun its journey to the competition at Stanford University in California.
Lead by coach Ian 'Wellard' Woollard the Beaver's squad also includes 'Chairman' Mark Reynolds, John 'JR' Rittenhouse, Mike 'Olympian' Fibbens, Jeanette Benn, Joe 'Birthday Boy' Twyman and Nicky 'Fly Virgin' More, all hoping to achieve success in the Californian Pool.
After a great deal of discussion and careful planning the squad has decided that, for security reasons, no two competitors should travel on the same flight to San Francisco.
'I'm flying BA.' Chairman Mark repeatedly told the Barnet Copthall receptionists.

Barnet Copthall Masters swimmer Victoria Louise 'Vicki' Akers has married her American fiancé Richard Paris 'Rick' Breeding in a ceremony at Pinewood Studios.
The distance freestyle specialist becomes the first Beaver to marry in nearly five years after tying the knot with Rick who is in the Navy, where you can sail the seven seas.
Masters Coach Ian 'Wellard' Woollard was among those to pass on congratulations to the happy couple. 'Have you seen the size of that chocolate fountain!' he said.
The bride and groom have announced that they will be postponing their honeymoon for five months, waiting instead until they have transferred to the United States as part of Rick's role in the Navy, where you can put your mind at ease.

Less than three weeks before the start of the XI FINA Masters World Championships the organisers have discovered that one of the competition pools is too short.
One of the four pools at the Stanford facility in California has been measured at exactly 50m, meaning that it not valid for records once timing pads are put in place.
In response the chairman of the Stanford Local Organising Committee, Michael Moore, has announced that the pool wall will be ground down and then refinished to allow for the small increase in distance. The work is expected to be completed well in advance of over 7,200 competitors arriving for the start of the competition on 3rd August.
'This an inevitable consequence of President Bush's second term in office. Shame on you!' said Moore.

TV star David Walliams has successfully completed his swim across the English Channel.
The 34 year-old comedian, most famous for his roles in the BBC's Little Britain, set off from Dover at 5.31am, completing the 21 mile swim in 10 hours 30 minutes.
Walliams, who wanted to 'do something dramatic for Sport Relief', aims to raise £500,000 for charity with a documentary charting his attempt to be shown on 13th July. He trained for 12 months for the challenge and was occasionally lucky enough to come into contact with Copthall's own 'King' Kevin Murphy and Carlos 'Al' Fresco.
'I feel relieved because we needed a happy ending to this story. I feel it's taken the sting out of the World Cup.' he told the BBC.

The IOC has asked FINA, on behalf of American Olympic broadcaster NBC, to consider moving the times of the swimming finals at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
A request has been made to switch the finals to the morning sessions in order to ensure a primetime television audience in the US.
Although the decision is not to be made until August at the earliest, Australia have already lead calls for it to be made on purely a sporting basis. Aussie head coach Alan Thompson said 'If the sports science tells us that we can get the best swims out of kids in the morning, fine. But there's no indication of that.'
Copthall coach Ian Woollard has also made his feelings on the subject felt. 'We have to ensure that swimming is never influenced by the TV' he announced to both swimmers at the latest World Cup affected training session.

Competitors attempting to travel by train to the British Swimming Masters Championships in Manchester have been informed that Manchester Piccadilly Railway Station will be closed all day Saturday and Sunday for essential engineering works.
The closure means that trains traveling to Manchester will now terminate at Crewe instead, with a replacement bus service transporting swimmers the remainder of the distance.
A spokesperson for Virgin Trains announced that, despite the problems with Manchester Piccadilly, careful planning had meant they had secured Kings Cross, Marylebone, Fenchurch Street, Liverpool Street, a hotel on Mayfair and won second prize in a beauty contest.

Occasional swimmer and multiple world record holder Ian Thorpe has been forced to delay another return to competitive swimming after failing to recover from a recent injury.
The Australian has withdrawn from the Mare Nostrum Series in Monaco next month due to a broken hand. This latest setback follows a series of health problems suffered by the 23 year-old in the wake of his gold medal winning swims at the Athens Olympics back in 2004.
'Ian is absolutely committed to being at his best for the Commonwealth Games,' said Australia head coach Alan Thompson before adding, 'Sorry - did I say the Commonwealth Games? I meant the World Championships, obviously.'

David 'Dave' Davies has followed in the faltering footsteps of top England footballers Wayne Rooney and Michael Owen by announcing that he is suffering from a problem with his foot.
Foot injuries are the latest 'must have' sporting accessory with the 21 year-old Welsh 1500m star, and shadow Home Secretary, keeping his for the next three to four weeks.
An infection means he will need to undergo a routine operation before returning to the pool.
National Performance Director Bill Sweetenham has already confirmed that, should Davies not be available for future competitions, Arsenal's Theo Walcott will be ready to replace him.
'Theo has great pace, which is important at international level.' explained Sweetenham.

Reports of the retirement of Mark Foster appear to have been premature after the former world short course champion competed at the Dutch Open Swimming Cup in Eindhoven.
Foster, 112, finished in second place in the 50m freestyle, just 0.07 behind Spain's Eduard Lorente. It was the Bath swimmer's first race since coming joint 30th in the heats of the 50m butterfly at the World Short Course Championships in Shanghai earlier in the month.
Just prior to the Commonwealth Games, Foster said he would be retiring from international swimming, but this latest development casts new doubt on when exactly that will be.
'Ha ha! Fooled you!' announced Foster's official spokesperson in a prepared statement.

History has repeated itself at the Basingstoke Fast Water Meet with Dorking emerging victorious, Barnet Copthall finishing a close second, Sally Tuttmillerball getting disqualified and one of the Beavers making a mistake in a relay - all for the second year running.
A smaller Copthall team than in previous years swam well in both the individual events and relays, but it was just not enough to close the gap on the determined Dorking swimmers.
The points deficit was not helped by Joe '25m' Twyman calmly gliding in on the final leg of the mixed freestyle relay, only to discover that there was sadly still one more heat to swim.
Immediately after her disqualification for a false start, Sally Tuttmillerball diplomatically described the judge’s decision as ‘absolute rubbish’. Again.

Swimming commentators Andy Jameson and Adrian Moorhouse have announced that they are leaving the BBC to present a new family entertainment variety show on ITV.
The so-called ‘Golden Handcuffs’ deal will mean that the duo can take their trademark catchphrases, including ‘Oh yes!’ and ‘They’re allowed fifteen metres underwater’, to a primetime Saturday night audience.
The pair will follow in the footsteps of other famous double acts, including Morecambe & Wise, Ant & Dec and Leopold & Loeb. A spokesperson for ITV said ‘We can see no reason why Andy and Adrian's new show will not become the new Russ Abbot’s Madhouse'.

After British success at the Commonwealth Games confusion remains, in some quarters at least, over how much credit controversial National Performance Director Bill 'El Sweeto' Sweetenham can take for the recent turnaround in fortunes.
Despite El Sweeto suffering the 'worst six months' of his life, the home nations have returned from Melbourne with a very impressive 15 gold, 14 silver and nine bronze medals.
The Daily Telegraph, The Times and BBC Sport have all been positive in their post-Commonwealth assessment of El Sweeto's approach.
However, critics of Sweetenham, including Sharron Davies and Mark Foster, continued to publicly question aspects of the Australian's methods throughout the duration of the competition. They point to coaches, particularly England's Ian Turner, and a more relaxed atmosphere as being the key to recent successes.
Amongst those on both sides of the argument it is recognised that the 2008 Olympics in Beijing will represent the true test of British swimming's strength and / or buck-passing ability.

Illness has forced Ian Thorpe to withdraw from the Commonwealth Games taking place in Melbourne this March.
The ten time Commonwealth champion has been unable to recover from the bronchitis and mystery chest infection that he has been suffering from over the last few weeks.
In the hope of finding a treatment for his ongoing health problems, the 23 year-old has previously been tested for whooping cough, glandular fever, chronic fatigue syndrome, bubonic plague, rabies and the deadly H5N1 strain of avian flu.
'I would have been of little, if any, benefit to the team' said Thorpe at a press conference.
Craig Stevens, who famously made way for Thorpe in the 400m at the Athens Olympics, will take his place in the the Australian squad.

Following the news that the Barnet Copthall senior squad has secured a sponsorship deal with Nike, Barnet Copthall Masters have announced their own exciting sponsorship deal.
Senokot, one of the UK's leading treatments for constipation, have agreed to an exclusive five year sponsorship deal with the masters squad.
Under the terms of the contract, the squad will now be known by the catchy new name Senokot Constipation Relief Barnet Copthall Masters. In exchange, Senokot will exclusively supply the team with all their constipation relief products for the duration of the contract.
A spokesperson for Senokot told UptheBeavers that ‘We are delighted by the formation of this new partnership. Barnet Copthall Masters and Senokot share many of the same values. We are both determined, hard working and strive for gentle, natural, predictable relief from intestinal blockages.’
Masters Coach Ian Woollard said that he very much hoped the deal would 'ensure movement in the right direction'.

Swimmers taking part in a 10km open water race in Sydney called a halt to proceedings after only 5km due to the unexpected inclusion of a man-eating shark.
All twenty-one competitors, including some of Australia's leading open water swimmers, were safely evacuated from the water by a team of rescuers lead by Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw.
The incident comes only a few months after some sections of the media heavily criticised Australian swimming coaches by for staging 'mock executions' at a training camp in preparation for the Commonwealth Games.
'There is clearly no place for man-eating sharks in sport training' said Australia's Federal Sports Minister Rod Kemp in response.

The Amateur Swimming Association has taken the unexpected step of appointing an official team bully as part of preparations for the upcoming Commonwealth Games in Melbourne.
After a rigorous selection process, Norman ‘Gripper’ Stebson was unveiled at a press conference as the person chosen for the newly created post. His previous experience includes working extensively as a bully in the London area since the early 1980s.
It is hoped that Mr Stebson’s continued presence will push all the British swimming teams competing in Melbourne to great success.
'I am delighted to be taking on this varied and challenging role, now hand over your dinner money!' said Mr. Stebson in a prepared statement.